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The Unheard Voices
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It is not the big dramatic things that press me to write about this in the middle of the night but just trying to make sense of it. It is like a reflection of twisted feelings or some kind of guilt. What could I have done? It is probably the ghastly wind and welled up skies that made me feel a tingly feeling like something was going to happen that day. Walking down the Tom Mboya backstreet I suddenly found myself between them. The still gazing crowd and a drama of city council officers dragging an old man away from his sleeping sacks. It was not the anguish in his voice that drew me close to the saga, but just being an old man, a squalor being looked down upon. He was guilty of the ‘crime’ of scavenging and illegal logging in the supermarkets garbage bins. Though the numb onlookers did nothing their scorn was clearly reflected even on their polished shining shoes and crisped suits. I couldn’t keep my eyes of the old man even after saving him from the beatings and getting a share myself of the batons kicks. To escape from the scornful and judging eyes I helped him up and we dodged into a nearby hotel. After ordering some food for both of us, my head pondered ‘why does that have to happen?’ who is this old man? And why is he like this? Short while like he read my mind he spoke over his food slowly “why did you do that? I replied “did what? … Those people could have killed you”. He then continued to narrate to me how he lost his job as a bank manager after a rape allegation set up to create a space for the CEO’s girlfriend, then his properties to auctioneers and then his wife who could not live with a “potential rapist”. For sometimes he just gazed directly at me and said ‘the question you are asking yourself son is the same question I have asked myself for a long time, I have not yet found the answer too, the question is why? Why did it have to happen to me? Why did I end up like this? Why?
In the old days he said “ I made a name for myself with generosity and hard work” but now he have nothing to be generous with, no job no money just his sleeping sacks and tattered clothes. I choked with empathy and felt sorry for him but curiously felt sorrier for us. As we dance on the same tight ropes over the abyss in which the old man felled in. I pondered and wrestled with thought to understand why the past mistakes or factors beyond control should deny one a voice or visibility and validity in the society. And why should people who matters most like a family shun someone when I thought the bonds could even make us follow another even into a ditch. I suddenly realized I was not any better than him though I had a lot to thank God for; we were in the same boat sailing in a vast ocean of fate only with determination and pads of faith. I reflected myself complaining of the big grandiose properties I don’t have, while the old man desperately searched for the ‘safest’ garbage bin just to appear invisible and rest overnight. Although it is absurd to compare both of us the memory trigged a rush of recognition that the old mans arrogant assumption “tomorrow I will get myself a house” saved him a lot of pain. His faith “just seeing another day makes me wait for the Lord to restore me” and that struggle for his sleeping sacks (the only thing he had) makes me feel inclined to accept his theory of life “integrity should not end with money”.
I went to see him again but after a couple of visits he disappeared from the area. I still hope to see him again just to be sure he is okay, however as I pass the place now my heart beat, pumping, my mind stamped by his, vibrating from each corners with echoes of courage and faith. Inwardly wishing I had done something more for him. But what could I do? I just appreciated and listened to his wise unheard voice.

October 29, 2009 | 10:37 AM Comments  1 comments

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